‘I’ve never felt so worthless’: The pain of Deir el-Balah’s obliteration | Israel-Palestine conflict


Deir el-Balah, Gaza – Like a scene from an limitless horror film, new orders for evacuations have been issued on Wednesday morning for residential areas in Deir el-Balah.

“Daily brings a brand new disaster,” we despaired as we studied the most recent Israeli map, its strains now looming dangerously near our residence.

The sounds of tanks grew louder, and the crack of gunfire echoed nearer.

A query has haunted us, and everybody in Gaza, for greater than 320 days of warfare. The query we ask the world however by no means get a solution:

“The place ought to we go?”

A query echoing within the void as individuals steadied themselves once more for the eighth, ninth or tenth displacement.

“The place ought to we go?”

The query reverberates in our minds and hearts, capturing all our anguish, loneliness, oppression and helplessness.

I’ve by no means felt so nugatory as a human being as I do nowadays.

A single Fb put up from an Israeli army spokesperson can upend our lives right away.

A merciless recreation of squares

On Wednesday, I used to be placing the ultimate touches on an article we have been getting ready, balancing work with my youngsters’s wants and the pressures of displacement.

Then got here the information of the evacuations.

We have been all in denial, desirous to imagine it was only a hearsay, however the actuality unfolded too shortly.

Folks started fleeing by way of the streets beneath hearth and bombardment, scrambling to flee. The scene was repeating itself, however this time it was the ultimate cease: Deir el-Balah!

This was the identical humanitarian space they as soon as spoke of, now marked for evacuation. It’s a merciless recreation of squares.

Have you ever ever felt like a toy, being performed with left and proper, east and west, pushed from one place to a different – south to Khan Younis, out of Rafah, again to Khan Younis, then to Nuseirat, solely to be pushed out once more?

Persons are actually working by way of the streets like mad, clutching what little they’ve left.

They’ve misplaced their properties, family members and livelihoods – and now they’re on the verge of shedding their minds.

We have now nothing left; our hearts are damaged, and our minds are frayed.

Oh, Deir el-Balah, our final refuge, who can present individuals the best way? As Tariq bin Ziyad as soon as stated: “The enemy is earlier than us, and the ocean is behind us.”

Now, all that is still earlier than us is the ocean. Is there a ship?

Palestinian women weep on a truck as she evacuates a school that had been her shelter, in eastern Deir al-Balah, Gaza Strip, Friday, Aug. 16, 2024, after the Israeli military dropped leaflets asking civilians to evacuate from the area, saying forces plan to respond to rocket fire that targeted Israel. (AP Photo/Abdel Kareem Hana)
A girl weeps as she evacuates jap Deir al-Balah on a truck on August 16, 2024, after the Israeli army ordered an evacuation [Abdel Kareem Hana/AP Photo]

Who will reply the determined cries of these wandering the streets? Persons are taking shelter wherever they will – streets, fields, relaxation stops, on the seashore.

The earth is shrinking beneath our ft. We’re being punished, squeezed right into a tiny bottleneck, bombarded and torn aside.

“The place ought to we go?”

I’m shedding my thoughts as I’m conducting interviews and taking notes, all whereas trying to find a spot – anyplace – to go. Even a tent is not an possibility.

Crowds within the markets, crowding on the roads and crowding of concepts. I really feel like a spinning high, my focus shattered by the looming tragedy of one other evacuation, regardless of how arduous I strive to withstand the thought.

I go searching on the few possessions I’ve managed to collect over the previous 10 months: a range, cups, plates, pots, winter garments, summer time garments, mattresses, blankets, batteries, gentle bulbs, massive bottles of ingesting water, tubs to clean garments in.

On my God, the place will I take all this?

Zero hour

The saddest half is the worry of ready for the zero hour. Zero hour means fleeing with nothing however the garments on our backs, leaving every part behind.

If I depart every part, there’s no strategy to substitute it. There aren’t any markets, no provides, no cash to spare. I used to be frozen in place, unable to maneuver.

Oh, I’ve work to do, articles to write down.

I stare at my laptop computer, making an attempt to focus.

A pal calls, searching for a single room with a toilet. One other is searching for a tent. Another person asks concerning the location of the armoured autos east of Deir el-Balah.

How can anybody write on this ambiance? It feels not possible.

Minutes later, the information comes – Israeli forces are advancing in al-Qarara west of Khan Younis, one other supposed “protected zone”, and individuals are fleeing once more.

What a horrible day. Some are fleeing west, others fleeing east.

There’s no finish or starting to this torment.

No person understands what’s occurring. We’re working and working aimlessly, individuals screaming, struggling and dying whereas the world watches.

That is simply the most recent episode of The Final Station.

My electronic mail was showered with humanitarian and civil organizations’ empty statements, warning of an imminent invasion of Deir el-Balah. It’s paying homage to what occurred in Rafah months in the past. Israel didn’t heed any warnings then and pushed everybody into Deir el-Balah. Now, it’s pursuing them on the final cease.

Displaced people flee from the eastern parts of Deir el-Balah to the city centre in the central Gaza Strip on June 8, 2024 amid the ongoing conflict in the Palestinian territory between Israel and Hamas. (Photo by Eyad BABA / AFP)
‘Persons are actually working by way of the streets like mad, clutching what little they’ve left,’ Maram Humaid writes. Proven right here, displaced individuals fleeing jap Deir el-Balah on June 8, 2024 [Eyad Baba/AFP]

In these moments, I totally grasp what all of us really feel – each displaced individual, each lady, man, elder and little one. The worry, the oppression, the confusion, the horror, the ugliness. All of it awaits us on the final cease: Deir el-Balah.

And the world? It watches with curiosity, questioning what is going to occur subsequent.

How will Israel do it this time? Will the ocean swallow us? Or will we be sifted by way of the boundaries or eradicated by air strikes?

To all of the viewers:

Girls and gents, I guarantee you, the ultimate scene is prepared.

The final present, Deir el-Balah, is out quickly to dazzle you with an unique, thrilling show of crimes, massacres and displacement.

Our blood, our youngsters, our lives, our our bodies, our remaining properties – our final stand in Deir el-Balah – are on full show.

Put together your disgrace and silent complicity, and watch!

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